


When You Can’t Blame Your Demons, Blame Them Anyway

by SnowyAutumns



Category: Celeste (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Constructive Criticism Welcome, Depression, During Canon, Gen, Hypothermia, I Tried, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Going to Hell, I’m sad this game doesn’t have very much fanfiction, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Takes place from ch 5 onwards, head cannons, it deserves more, more characters to be added (maybe)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:14:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27678622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnowyAutumns/pseuds/SnowyAutumns
Summary: Theo and Madeline travel through a temple, but after they come out they come across a problem.Their mental state.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 23





	1. When That Gut Feeling Is Right

**Author's Note:**

> Blegh I wrote the chapters I’m posting today in one day  
> I’m kind of late to this fandom but I love it anyway so I wrote this  
> Celeste is grossly underrated  
> If you haven’t played it already, go play it you coward (just a warning, ch 9 is HARD but SAD) (Also if you haven’t played it already WHAT ARE YA DOIN HERE cuz spoilers for Celeste heading at ya full speed ahead)  
> I just wrote this because, y’know, can’t have enough ANGST  
> (PS anything not in quotation marks and in italics is the thought of the character being focused on. I know it can get confusing at times but just know most if not all the thoughts like this are Madeline’s.)

The two were silent as they traveled through the temple. At first, Theo had been giving some support to Madeline as they came into each room, commenting on monsters and whatnot, but now he was quiet. Uncharacteristically quiet. So much so that Madeline noticed.

“Theo?” She called out to her friend, and he turned to look at her. 

“Yeah? What is it?” _He looks fine… maybe I’m just anxious, but it doesn’t hurt to check._ “How are you holding up? You seem lost in thought.” 

He waved off the concern, giving her a reassuring smile. “Oh, I’m fine. Well, as fine as I can be when I’m stuck in a crystal.” 

She smiled at that, though she didn’t completely trust him. “Sorry, maybe it’s just everything that’s happened that’s making me a bit anxious, but you just seemed quiet. Are you sure you’re okay?” 

This time, his smile didn’t look genuine. He looked somewhat nervous. “Well—” He paused. “I don’t want to worry you, it’s really not our biggest problem right now.” 

She looked at him sternly. _So there is something wrong._

“You not telling me worries me. What’s bothering you, Theo? I want to help.”

He pulled his knees to his chest and anxiously gazed at the walls, not answering. 

“Theo.” Madeline stopped and set the crystal down on the floor, making him jump. “You know you can talk to me. Just because I’m the one with the mental issues doesn’t mean you can’t tell me things. Don’t feel as if your worries will discourage me.”

Theo sighed, turning to Madeline. “I guess I’m just… scared.” He wrung his hands nervously, like something was going to jump out at any moment. “Scared that something will go wrong, and you’ll drop me. Or you’ll make a wrong move and I’ll have to watch helplessly as you get mauled by one of those creatures.”

Madeline gave him a sympathetic look. “And the atmosphere doesn’t help. I thought the eyes were static, but they’ve been following me. Ever since you started carrying me, they’ve been glaring right through me. I hate being in this thing. I feel so small and helpless.”

She thought for a moment. “I get it. I’d feel the exact same way if I were in your position. But you know I’d never let anything bad happen to you if I had a say in it, right?” 

Theo nodded. “I promise, we’ll get out of here. We’re going to be alright.” Madeline gave him a reassuring smile, and he smiled back at her. 

“Yeah... yeah, you’re right! Okay, let’s do this!” He beamed, back to his usual self. 

“Alright, let’s keep going!” Madeline picked the crystal back up and headed toward the next room, smiling ear to ear. It was nice to know that she wasn’t alone in her fears.


	2. Thanks for Almost Killing Me, You’re a Lifesaver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So basically Theo freaks out at Madeline because he thought she was tryna kill him. Another somber moment, blah blah blah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t worry, next chapter is much more angst filled. And it focuses more on Madeline.

“Oh my god, what the fuck?” Theo pointed to the giant eyeball at the end of the room. “I think we went the wrong way.” 

Madeline continued onward, completely ignoring him. “Mad? What are you planning to do? I’d rather not go any closer to that thing—” 

Again she ignored him, grinning like a witch. Theo tensed at the sight. “I know what I’m doing.”

“You’re freaking me out here, Maddy. If you plan to do something with that thing, could you at least set me down over there so it’s not five inches from my face?” 

She giggled. “Sorry, can’t do that. My plan involves you.” Theo gave her an unapproving glare. “Oh _hell_ no. Leave me out.” 

“You can’t stop me.” She stuck her tongue out and stopped right in front of the eye, smirking. 

“I don’t consent to whatever you’re about to do!” Madeline turned her gaze to Theo, who looked terrified. “You’ll be fine, trust me! I wouldn’t throw you into a giant eyeball if I wasn’t completely confident.” 

He looked down at her with a mortified expression. “You’re going to throw me into a monster eyeball that is _twice my size?!_ ” His voice was squeaking with fear. 

She nodded. “Yep!” Stepping back a bit, she lifted the crystal higher and got ready to throw. “Ready?” 

Theo shook his head. “No, I am not and never will be! Don’t! _Madeline!_ ”

Ignoring him, she kept her feet planted on the ground to stop herself from falling over. “Three,” 

Theo shouted incoherently, desperately trying to get her to reconsider. She wasn’t listening, though. It was impossible to reason with her. 

“two,” She reeled back, ready to throw. “o—”

“ _STOP!! PLEASE!!_ ” He yelled, only fear present in his voice. Madeline paused. “Theo, you’re not going to die! I wouldn’t just—” 

Then, she realized something. Of course he was freaking out. It was staring straight at him. She didn’t realize before, but all the eyes in the temple that looked at him didn’t just unnerve him, they _scared_ him. The monsters that chased Madeline glared at her the same way as they tried to bite her head off.

She looked up at him. He looked like he was about to cry. “Theo...” 

He flinched when she set him down. “I know you’re scared. I’m sorry. But this is the only idea I have to break you out of that thing. I don’t know what else to do.” 

He stared anxiously at the floor. “I’ve tried everything. Nothing I’ve done has worked. This is the only thing left I can think of.” 

He turned his gaze to her, expression unreadable. “I know. I know you’re trying. I’m just…” He paused, thinking. “If this doesn’t work, I don’t know what’ll happen. It looks like it’s going to eat me for breakfast then have you as the main course.” 

Madeline sighed heavily. “I want to hug you _really_ bad right now. But if I could, we wouldn’t be here.” 

Theo gave her a sad look. “Feeling is mutual.” 

Tensing, he hugged his legs. “Fine. Try it. I hope you’re right in this, Madeline.” 

She looked at him empathetically. “Are you sure? I won’t do it if you really don’t want to.” 

He paused for a moment. “No, do it. We won’t know if we don’t try.” 

She contemplated for a bit, before sighing. “Alright. Get ready.” Madeline picked him back up and started to count down again. 

“Three,” He braced himself, hugging his legs and closing his eyes. 

“two,” She reeled back once again, ready to throw. “one!” 

She threw him as hard as she could at the thing before she could have second thoughts. He bounced off, and the crystal made a loud crack. “Yes! It did work!”

It shattered, and Theo fell to the floor. She ran over to him, grinning. “See? I told you it would—” 

She paused. “Theo?” 

He didn’t respond. Madeline shook him worriedly. “Hey— are you okay? Theo?!” 

She started to panic, and checked his pulse. It was fine. 

Letting out a breath of relief, she picked him up and put him on her back. “Scared me there for a second, passing out on me like that.” 

She looked up at the eye, which had disappeared. Looking around, she realized all the other ones had vanished too. “There. Now you’re safe.” 

She didn’t know why that made her so relieved. Maybe she had been freaked out by all the eyes too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS No I don’t ship them, they’re just good friends to me


	3. Don’t Follow Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madeline gets upset and runs away, INTO THE COLD (Madeline you’re such a dumbass.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW - Suicidal thoughts, Attempted suicide(?) (Dunno, she kinda didn’t plan on it until she started dying)
> 
> So anyway, I found it unrealistic that neither of these two ever got cold atop the snowy mountain with nothing but clothes and a jacket (and in Theo’s case, just clothes and a scarf! wtf!) so Madeline gets hypothermia. Very sad. 
> 
> Anxiety attack(?) Are anxiety attacks and panic attacks the same thing? If they are then this isn’t a panic attack.

It had been a few hours now. Theo still hadn’t woken up. This made Madeline a bit nervous, but she tried not to worry about it too much. 

Instead, she made a fire and had laid him down on his bag. She herself had set her bag down and leaned on it, watching the fire crackle. She felt peaceful for the first time since she’d started climbing. And now that she was close to the summit, she was excited, too. Maybe she could prove that Part of Her wrong.

“Ngh…” Theo stirred, and Madeline turned her gaze away from the fire to look at him. “Theo! You’re awake!” 

He rubbed his head and sat up, looking around. “Am I? I’m skeptical. I had one _messed up_ nightmare.” 

She laughed nervously. “Actually, about that…” 

Realization washed over him. “Oh. Yeah, it’s all coming back to me now. That actually happened.” 

He paused. “Thanks for getting us out of there. I wish I could’ve helped, but I couldn’t do much when I was stuck in that thing.” 

She shook her head. “It’s fine. I’m… sorry I scared you back there.”

“Oh, yeah, you’re a dick for doing that.” He lightheartedly insulted her, and she laughed. “Could’ve explained first before you tossed me into the unknown.” 

She sighed guiltily. “Yeah, sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I wasn’t really thinking clearly.” 

He gave her an empathetic look. “It’s fine. I guess I wasn’t really thinking clearly either. I could’ve handled that better.” 

“No, don’t put that on you. That was my fault.” She looked at him, not being able to shake the memory of his terrified plea from her mind. 

“I’m sorry… I must’ve scared you to death.” Theo was silent. _God, he must hate me. Who would throw someone you care about into a potentially life-threatening situation?_ “ _I’m so sorry, I know you probably never want to see me again._ ” 

Madeline pulled herself up and dashed away toward the temple, ignoring Theo’s calls for her to come back. _I’m such a bad friend. No wonder I can’t hold onto a relationship for more than a month. Why did he ever believe in me?_

She kept going as far as she could, dodging and weaving through different paths on the mountain, making sure she lost Theo. After a while, she collapsed on the ground and started to cry. _I’m going to be alone forever. I’m such a terrible person. This is what happens when you get cocky._

“She was right. Maybe it was a mistake to climb this mountain.” 

Madeline stood up and wiped her eyes, looking blankly into the temple. “I give up. You win. You fucking win. Are you happy? Are you proud of yourself?” She spoke into the open air, not getting a response. 

“Answer me!” She shouted, anger slowly building inside of her. 

“Why do you even care?! You’ve been given a body! Why don’t you just leave me alone?!” Madeline yelled, tears streaming down her face. 

“I don’t deserve to be cared about…” She fell to her knees once more, hugging herself and sobbing. The wind and snow started to pick up, leaving her a cold, shivering mess. 

She stared at the snow beneath her, trying to find the will to keep going. What was there to care about anymore? She had let down another person. Another kind, innocent soul who believed in her and she crushed it. What was there to live for when she’d already destroyed everything she loved?

Her legs were starting to go numb because of the cold, but she didn’t care. She deserved it. That Part of Her was right. She deserved this. All of it. Everything that was happening was her fault anyway. 

Theo had said he wasn’t going to climb to the summit, but she had dragged him along anyway. She freaked him out on the gondola, and he had gotten trapped in a temple that was shaped around her. Then, she tried to kill him with no second thought whatsoever.

Someone grabbed her shoulders and shook her. She didn’t pay attention. 

Madeline felt herself being picked up and carried somewhere. She tried to resist, but apparently she hadn’t realized how cold it had gotten. Her entire body was numb.

At least she’d stopped shivering.

Tired. Tired, cold, and unfeeling. That’s all she felt. It wasn’t at all pleasant, but at that point she couldn’t care. She just wanted death to take her already. It was what she deserved, anyway. 

The person set her down next to the fire. Ah, so Theo had found her. Great. Now he had to witness her die of hypothermia.

She knew that was what was happening. Soon she’d lose consciousness and die peacefully. Her out of all people didn’t deserve a peaceful death, but it wasn’t like she could help it.

Madeline let her eyes slip shut. She was ready to go.

Someone distantly called her name.

She didn’t answer.


	4. Oh So Now You Talk To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madeline and Badeline argue over Madeline’s life. What a thing to argue about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is all I wrote today, hopefully it’s not terrible. Anyway fluff/hurt-comfort incoming next chapter, so be prepared

“ **Madeline.** ”

Madeline stirred, rubbing her eyes. Who..?

“ **Madeline, look at me.** ”

She opened her eyes, staring Part of Her in the face. Now that she thought about it, just calling her ‘Part of Her’ was really inconvenient. She’d have to come up with a name for her at some point.

“ **There you are.** ”

Madeline looked around, seeing nothing but an empty abyss. She wasn’t even standing on anything. What happened?

“ **You’re such an idiot. I thought I’d lost you.** ” Madeline turned her head. Since when did she care whether or not she died? She’d tried to kill her multiple times.

“ **You have to wake up.** ” She winced. Why? She was so tired. 

“ **Please, Madeline, you have to wake up. You don’t have much time.** ” Why—? Oh. Now it was all coming back. She’d ran away from Theo and got hypothermia. 

“Why do you care whether or not I wake up.” The way she said it didn’t even sound like a question. Her voice was groggy and emotionless. At this point, it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility.

“ **Because I’m Part of You. You can’t die. I’ve been trying to protect you.** ” 

Anger boiled in Madeline. “Says the person who’s tried to kill me twice and also left me for dead in a creepy temple.” Everything was so foggy. It felt like her memories were fading away each second that passed.

“ **I’m sorry, okay?! I was scared! I was scared you’d die and now you’re dying anyway!** ” Madeline sighed, completely annoyed. She wanted to go back to sleep. 

“Not like it can be helped now. Just so you know, this is all your fault. If you had just helped me in the temple this wouldn’t have happened.”

Her doppelgänger looked away, guiltily wringing her hands. “ **I know. I’m sorry. I just didn’t think it’d lead you to kill yourself. Please, Madeline, you’ve got to wake up. If not for me, do it for Theo.** ” 

Her eyes widened. _That’s right! Theo found me and took me back to the fire!_

She sighed. “It’s a wonder he’s still able to care about me, after everything I did.”

Her counterpart sighed, giving her a nervous look. “ **You don’t just stop caring about someone when they do something wrong. He wasn’t upset when he woke up, so he wasn’t mad. I don’t know why you can’t believe that. We all make mistakes. And I…** ” 

She paused. “ **...know I sure have.** ” 

Madeline stared at her, eyes wide. Was she admitting she was wrong? What a miracle. 

She looked to the side, sighing. “Fine. On one condition, I’ll wake up.” 

Her reflection stared at her nervously. “ **And what’s that..?** ” 

“You have to help me climb to the summit.”

“ **No. That’s not happening. Please, Madeline, don’t do this.** ”

“It’s that or my life. It’s your choice.”

The Part of Her hugged herself. She knew there was no getting out of this one. 

“ **...Fine. Fine, I’ll help you finish the climb. But don’t ever do this again.** ” 

Madeline nodded, smiling. “I won’t. Thank you.”

She focused on waking up, starting to fade out of the abyss that was her mind.


	5. You’re Not Leaving Me Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madeline wakes up and Theo is relieved. Then the two beans argue through angst the whole chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol I wrote this instead of doing schoolwork  
> Anyway I’m about to get teeth pulled so be prepared if I mass post stories cuz I’m bored

“Madeline!!”

The voice that called out to her sounded desperate. Desperate and broken.

“Madeline, please… Wake up, don’t do this...”

Wait, was that Theo?

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry… I should’ve trusted you…”

His voice didn’t sound anything like it was before or in the temple. It absolutely broke her heart to hear him like this. 

She tried her best to speak, to tell him she was here, she was okay, but all she could manage was a grunt as she shifted in place, shivering violently.

“...Maddy?” She managed to open her eyes, if only just a crack, and smile slightly. 

“Oh my god, Madeline!” He hugged her, and she tried as best she could to hug back. Was it just her, or was he shivering too? 

She managed to fully open her eyes, with her strength coming back slowly as she woke up more. “H-Hey. It’s a— bit cold out, i-isn’t it?”

She could hear Theo laugh slightly under his breath. “You think? Jesus, Madeline, don’t—” 

He paused, like he was nervous to finish talking. “T-Theo?” 

_Was he scared I’d get upset again? Damn it. Look what you’ve done._

“I’m just— so glad you’re not dead.” 

“I can’t really p-promise that, considering I’m still f-freezing.” He pulled out of the hug, and now she could see he’d wrapped his scarf around her neck. He was trying his best to hide the fact he was cold now, too. 

“I did the best I could. I didn’t know what would help, so I kinda just… piled things on and hoped for the best.” 

She smiled at him. He was too nice. She didn’t deserve to be cared for like this. “T-Thank you, Theo. H-How did you find me, though?” 

He gave her a nervous look. “I heard you talking to someone. Who were you talking to?”

Looking to the side, she sighed. Best now to explain than ever. “Um— the temple brought out a… Part of Me. I s-still don’t know how, but she’s been following me as I climb the mountain, trying to get me to stop. I was yelling at her for not helping me back in the temple.” 

“...Oh. That’s understandable. She sounds like a jerk.” Madeline laughed, nodding. 

“Yeah, kinda. But she’s the one who got me to wake up. If she didn’t, I… don’t think I would’ve made it. I don’t think I would’ve wanted to wake up if she didn’t convince me.” 

Theo’s expression had turned from a warm one to disbelief. “...What..?” 

Madeline sighed, not meeting his gaze. She couldn’t look at him when he looked so betrayed. 

“Why do you think I didn’t look for warmth as soon as it started to get cold? I was ready for hypothermia to take me away.” 

Now she felt guilty again. Theo looked mortified. “Madeline…” 

He hugged her again, but this time it felt less like a ‘I’m glad I get to see you again’ kind of hug and more like a ‘I’m never letting you go because I’m afraid you’ll run off and kill yourself’ kind of hug. 

“Why?” 

The question seemed misplaced and uncoordinated. Like he didn’t mean to say it and was more in disbelief than anything. 

Theo pulled away from her and looked at her straight on. There were tears streaming down off his cheeks and onto the snowy ground, leaving wet trails on his face. 

_Oh my god, did I make him cry? Holy shit, he’s crying. I made him cry. I’m the shittiest human in the goddamn world._

“Theo, don’t—” She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him back into the hug. He didn’t resist. 

“Don’t cry, I didn’t mean to make you so worried, I thought—” She paused. Should she really tell him? _Fuck it. Can’t get any worse than this._

“I didn’t think you’d forgive me after what I pulled back in the temple. I didn’t think you’d find me.” 

She kind of wished he hadn’t found her. That she’d just have been left in the snow, dead. Although at the same time, if Theo found her after that, he’d have been mortified. He definitely wasn’t forgiving her after this stunt, though. 

“Why would you ever think I’d just want you to die out in the cold because you didn’t know I was scared. You saved my life, Madeline. I would be dead if it weren’t for you.” 

She knew this was true. If she hadn’t found him (or didn’t care to find him, but that would’ve been a whole separate universe because she sure as _hell_ wouldn’t have left him in that place) he would’ve died scared and alone, in a temple that hated them both.

“I… I know, but…” She paused, thinking. She didn’t have an argument for that. 

“Madeline, please don’t do that again. I don’t care what your depression says, don’t ever just up and leave like that. When I found you out there, I didn’t even think you’d make it back to the fire. You looked so pale and dead. You didn’t even blink.”

She could tell he was trying not to cry harder than he was. It made her so sad. Why did she ever think that was a good idea? Now she had made the chillest, most laid back guy on planet earth upset. Upset because of her. She would never be able to live with herself after this.

“I’m…” Madeline resisted the urge to run out again. She knew she wouldn’t get far. She knew she was crying too, but she paid no attention to it. 

“I’m so sorry, Theo. I’m so sorry that I made you so worried. This is all my fault. I should’ve never climbed the mountain. Then none of this would’ve happened.” 

She buried her face in his neck and sobbed. _I’m such a garbage human being. Why does he even care about me? He doesn’t deserve this. I just want to run back out into the cold and bury myself in the snow, but I just can’t do that to him again. Not with how upset he was._

“No, don’t say that. I’m glad I met you. You’ve made me realize so many things. I’ve learned so much. But I care about you. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you had died out there.” 

She was bewildered at how he could even care about her at all. She certainly didn’t deserve it. 

A wave of exhaustion hit her. She felt strangely warm. Her arms fell to her sides and she leaned her head on the scarf. 

“Madeline?” He pulled away from her, and she smiled faintly. 

“I’m… so tired.” She could practically feel Theo’s panic. 

“No, don’t go back to sleep. I don’t want to risk losing you. Please, Madeline, I know how you feel right now, but…” 

He trailed off, looking at the floor anxiously.

“Theo. I won’t die. I promise.”

She knew that would get to him. “I… fine. But if I wake up and you’re gone, I...” 

He paused. “I don’t know what I’ll do.”

Madeline smiled. “Trust me.”

Before he could respond, she had already slipped her eyes shut and was sound asleep.

Theo sat next to her and watched the fire. He knew he wasn’t going to fall asleep anytime soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmhm, I’m so mean =)


	6. Thanks For The Encouragement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Before the 4th chapter) When Theo found Madeline, but from his perspective this time. I just wanted to write him freaking out over Madeline =)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little drabble of how Theo found Madeline. And how much he freaked out.

“Madeline!!” Theo called, sprinting through the snow and ignoring the wind. It was freezing. He should’ve brought a jacket. How did it get this cold so fast?

He froze when he saw something (or rather, someone) hunched over in the snow in the distance. “Madeline? Oh god, please don’t be her...” 

It terrified him to think it was her. As he approached, though, his worries were confirmed. There, lying in the snow, hair frozen to the ground, was Madeline. 

“Holy shit—! Hey, look at me!” He kneeled down next to her and grabbed her shoulders, desperate to get a response. She stayed completely still. Her face was as pale as the snow that hit it. He checked her pulse, which was barely still going. This worried him sick.

Theo wrapped his scarf around her neck and picked her up, not caring how cold he was. “You’re going to be okay— You’ll be okay! This can’t be happening— You’ll be fine—” 

He ran as fast as he could toward the fire, trying to convince himself it would be okay. She would be okay. Everything would be fine. She’d wake up and he’d say sorry, she’d live, she’d be alive.

He set her down next to the fire and dug a bunch of stuff out of his bag, burying her in as much as he could. Her eyes fell shut, and he flipped out. 

“No no no— Hey, stay conscious with me here, Maddy! D-Don’t do this to me…” He violently shivered. If it didn’t get warmer out soon, he himself would be at risk of hypothermia. Although he didn’t care, he wasn’t going to take anything off her. Not when she was more at risk.

Panicking, there was only one person besides Madeline he wanted to talk to right now. He pulled out his phone (which miraculously had signal; the mountain somehow was able to get signal out here? He didn’t question it at this point, though.) and sent Alex a text. 

‘ _Are you awake?_ ’ Hopefully she wasn’t asleep; normally she would be but he really just needed someone right now. 

Everything that had happened had just made him break under the pressure. The worry for Alex and her panic attacks, his Grandpa's passing, his mom just absolutely being destroyed from his death, and now, this. It was a wonder he hadn’t snapped before now.

She texted back almost immediately. ‘ _Yeah! What’re you doing up? And how’re you getting signal out there? Did you already leave or something?_ ’ 

He could’ve passed out from relief. ‘ _I don’t know. No, I’m still on the mountain. Can you call me?_ ’ As much as he hated to admit, he really needed to hear her voice right now. ‘ _Oh, okay! Yeah, I can do that._ ’ 

Alex probably just thought he was checking in on her, like he always did (although most of the time it wasn’t at 2 am). Usually it would be her needing the call, but this time, the roles seemed to have swapped places. 

“ _Hey! Good morning, little bro, haha._ ” Her very awake voice told him she’d been up for a while. 

“Hey—” Theo’s voice was much more shaken than he’d intended it to be, and she definitely noticed. 

“ _Huh—? What’s wrong? You sound upset._ ” 

It felt like everything was falling apart. Slowly but surely everything was falling out from underneath him, and now he was falling. Falling into the unknown abyss with no one to help.

“ _Theo? You’re worrying me a bit._ ” He was pulled out of his thoughts by her voice, and he wiped his eyes. 

“Sorry— thinking. Um— I know you told me not to get too attached to anyone here, but…” 

He trailed off, not knowing how to explain it. At this point he just wanted to hug her. 

He shook off the thought. No, he was supposed to be the strong one. He couldn’t just break like this— they needed him to be strong for them— he couldn’t just—

A sob ripped from his throat before he could stop it. Who was he kidding? He let them down. He had let them all down. He’d let Madeline down and now she was going to die. She’d saved his life and he even couldn’t save hers. 

“ _Woah! Hey— Calm down, bro, deep breaths. You’re okay._ ” 

_No, I’m not okay. I’m horrible. I’ve just pretended like everything was fine when nothing was fine. Everyone probably hates me._

“I-I don’t know what to do. Everything’s crumbling before my eyes. Alex, how do you deal with this everyday? I can’t do it. I just can’t.” 

“ _Theo._ ” She said his name calmly. How could she act so calm when he wanted to hurl himself off a bridge? 

“ _You’re going to be okay. Just explain to me what happened. Let me help._ ” 

He almost didn’t want to. Why does she even care? Why did he make this stupid call? 

Wiping his eyes, he looked over towards Madeline. At least he could see her breathing now. She wasn’t as pale as she was before. He never wanted to see her like that ever again. 

“So— I met this girl while climbing the mountain. And Gramps was right. This mountain has powers. Maybe that’s why I’m able to get signal. But that’s not the point— so we traveled together up the mountain and found this temple. I don’t remember what happened, but I ended up trapped in this crystal and she had to help me out.

“She eventually broke it, but then later when we were out of the temple she got upset at herself and ran out into the cold, that idiot. And now she’s got hypothermia. I’m trying the best I can to keep her warm, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to save her, with the way it is outside.” 

He didn’t want to admit he was probably getting hypothermia too, because he had even less than Madeline had.

“ _You’re going to have to let go, Theo. I know it’s hard. But it doesn’t sound like she’s going to make it out. And you won’t either if you don’t let go._ ” 

That made him even more upset. “You don’t know that!! You don’t know that…” He started to sob again. What was the use? She was probably right. Madeline wasn’t going to live through this.

He didn’t want to talk to her anymore.

He hung up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nevermind, Theo is also not mentally stable.


	7. Your Third Twin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madeline wakes up and is worried. Theo’s still shivering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty chill chapter, at least compared to the other ones. Also including my head cannon of what the eyes and crystal in the temple mean.

Madeline flinched when the sun hit her eyes. She mumbled and shifted, pulling her arm up and blocking the rays. 

She pushed a blanket off herself, feeling how nice it was outside. It was a huge contrast to what it had been the previous night. Theo was still shivering next to her, though, despite the weather. _Oh, he must have been freezing last night! He didn’t even have his scarf on!_

She pulled his scarf off and wrapped it back around his neck, throwing the blanket on, too. 

“ _Chirp! Chirp!_ ” 

She jumped when the bird flew onto the burned out logs, singing a little song. She glared at it. “Where were you last night?” 

It turned the side of it’s head to her and seemed to give a patronizing smile. “You’re an ass.” 

She chuckled and stood up, having much more strength than the night before. The weather was perfect despite the snow, but it was bound to melt with how warm it was, so she didn’t have much to worry about. 

Theo’s phone buzzed and she turned to it. She went over and picked it up, turning it on and reading the… text? How is he able to get signal all the way up here? 

As much as she didn’t like to snoop in other people’s business, the person who texted him sounded really worried.

It wouldn’t hurt to let them know where he is… right? 

She looked at the contact. Alex? Wasn’t that the person he mentioned in the temple?

Madeline pressed the call button and held it up to her ear. Hopefully they weren’t too anxious.

“ _Hello? Theo?_ ” They asked, clearly worried out of their mind. “Hi! No, not Theo, he’s sleeping. Um, you just seemed worried in your text, so I wanted to call and let you know he’s fine. We’ve been climbing a mountain together. Sorry for snooping through your friend’s phone.”

They sighed, relieved. “ _No, it’s okay. I’m just glad he’s alright. He called me in a panic last night and hung up abruptly. He didn’t answer his phone afterwards._ ” 

Madeline gave a sad huff. “Yeah. I probably scared the shit out of him. Sorry about that.” 

Alex gasped. “ _Are you the girl he was so worried about? Yeah, you definitely threw him into a blind panic. He’s never done something like that before. It’s a miracle you survived, if I’m going on how he explained what happened._ ” 

Madeline sighed. “Same here. I think he was blowing it way out of proportion. I’m completely fine now, besides some stiff joints. Anyway, who are you?”

“ _Alex. I’m his older sister. How about you?_ ” She smiled. “Madeline. It’s nice to meet you.” 

Madeline paced around the logs, looking out at the sky. “ _Nice to meet you too._ ”

Theo stirred behind her and she turned to him. He was still shivering. If anything, he was the one at risk of hypothermia. 

“ _Madeline? You ok?_ ” She jumped. “Oh, yeah! Just, worried about your brother. It’s really nice out now, but he’s still shivering.” 

Alex audibly sighed. “ _Let me guess. Didn’t take anything to keep himself warm because he was worried about you?_ ”

She chuckled. Alex clearly knew her brother well. “Yeah, but it still worries me that he’s shivering. I’m not cold anymore, and it’s definitely nothing under 70 degrees out.” 

“ _Maybe it’s not as warm as you think it is. You know how after you come inside from sledding or something you feel, like, 100 degrees?_ ” Oh. That made more sense. 

“Oh god, then am I just standing outside in who knows how cold feeling completely fine as I’m probably freezing to death? Crap.” Alex gave a chuckle. “ _No, you’re probably fine. I bet it’s not horrible. Maybe see if the snow’s melting._ ”

Madeline kicked the snow with a foot, and it was like a melted slushie. “Some food coloring and I could have a nice drink. It’s pretty melted.” 

Alex laughed. “ _Maybe I was wrong. But it’s not like you can really tell up there without someone professional checking._ ” 

“Yeah, true. But I feel fine, so I’ll just try and get him warm and hope for the best.” Alex was silent for a moment. “ _...I hope he’s alright._ ” 

Madeline sighed, sitting next to Theo. “I’m sorry I made you so worried. I just… how much did he explain to you?”

“ _A temple, a crystal, and you getting upset and running off. He didn’t go into much detail, though._ ” 

Madeline took a water bottle out of her bag. “I’m assuming he didn’t tell you why I was upset?” 

Alex audibly rolled her eyes. “ _Something about you getting upset at yourself._ ”

Madeline rested her head on her arms. “Ah… kind of. You see, back in the temple, there were these monsters and eyes— wait, you know about the mountain’s magic, right?” 

Alex laughed. “ _Yeah. Our grandpa climbed it before either of us were born and had experienced it himself._ ”

She nodded, taking a sip of her water. “Okay, good. So there were these creatures— the temple sort of, shaped itself around us? But not in a good way. The monsters were called searchers. They were some sort of metaphor of my inner demons, and they chased me around the place tryna bite my head off. The eyes, though… the only thing they did was stare.”

Alex cringed. “ _Oof, I’m sorry. What do you think those said about yourself?_ ” 

Madeline reached her hand out to the bird unconsciously, trying to pet it. “Huh? Oh, no no no, they didn’t stare at _me._ They stared at _him._ ” The bird lifted it’s head into her hand and she stroked it’s feathers.

“ _What?? Why were they staring at him?_ ” Alex sounded a bit concerned. Madeline understood, though. Why wouldn’t she be worried about her brother? Then again, how did she herself not know? 

“I… don’t really know. I figured you might know. I’ve got a few guesses, if you want to hear them.” She got up and paced around, the bird sitting on her shoulder as she walked.

“ _Hit me. Maybe we can figure it out together._ ” Madeline sighed, looking over at Theo. 

“My first theory, which I don’t really believe, is that he’s stressed over his social media. He seems really happy with it, though, so I don’t think that’s the case.” Alex agreed. 

“ _Yeah. Although, tbh, he didn’t really make it for fame or anything, but just to document everything that happened in his life. Gramps had done the same thing, and had filled up lots of camera roles. I think that’s what he’s trying to follow with that._ ” 

Madeline smiled. He really was close to his grandpa, wasn’t he? 

“Alright, sounds like that’s off the table, then. Theory number two, he’s under pressure from people in his life. Can you confirm or deny this? I haven’t really gotten the chance to have a real conversation with him, as you can probably tell.” 

Alex laughed. “ _Yeah, I can definitely tell. I don’t really think that’s right though. Everyone’s really patient with him, including myself._ ”

Madeline smiled. He seemed to have a nice home life. “Sounds like you guys are really nice.”

“ _Oh, nah. I’m not the greatest sister, I’ll admit that. He’s had to calm me down from multiple panic attacks. Every month._ ” 

She gasped. “So that’s where he learned how to stay so calm when that happened!” 

“ _Huh? When what happened?_ ” Madeline sighed. “I, uh, had a panic attack while we were riding a gondola up to the temple. It had stalled and I got freaked out.” 

Alex was silent for a moment. “ _So we’re just as alike as I thought. Figures._ ” 

She turned her head to the bird, who was chirping for food. “What do you mean? Do you have anxiety too?” 

“ _Yep. And depression. Got the whole mental problems package._ ” Madeline huffed a laugh. “God, tell me about it. Anyway, that leads me to my last theory. Which, I really hope isn’t the case, but it’s got the most evidence. It’s gonna require some really personal questions, though.”

“ _Hah, I’m here all day. Let ‘er rip._ ” Madeline sighed. Here goes nothing.

“So, judging by what you’ve said, he has to calm you down from panic attacks daily, right? Or close to it?” Alex sounded a little guilty. “ _Yeah.._ ”

She pulled some sunflower seeds from her bag and fed crumbs to the bird, and it sang happily. “And how long has he had to do this?”

“ _Um… I really want to say since he was around a teen, but I’m pretty sure it was even before that._ ” Madeline sighed. So this might be even worse than she thought.

“Has he had to do this to anyone else?” She sat back down and watched the bird fly around the sky. “ _Panic attack wise, no, but recently we’ve had to take care of our mom and make sure she’s emotionally healthy. It used to be our grandpa who helped her, but… recently we lost him._ ”

Madeline gasped. “Oh, I’m sorry for your loss. How have you guys been taking it?” 

Alex thought for a moment. “ _He’s been dealing well. Mom’s been taking it the worst. I’m alright, though. Thanks for your concern._ ” 

She smiled, throwing the sunflower seeds back in her bag. “No problem. So it sounds like he’s had to comfort people most of his life, no?” Alex made a thoughtful _hmm_. 

“ _...Yeah, now that I think about it, he has. Now I feel bad…_ ” Madeline shook her head. “No, don’t. You can’t help it.” 

The bird flew back to her and sat on her head. “ _Anyway, what was your point?_ ” 

“In the temple, he didn’t want to tell me his worries. I have a feeling he was afraid I’d get upset. So— maybe, he feels like everyone is dependent on him and that he has to stay strong for them. Maybe that’s what the crystal was a metaphor for— he feels trapped in this cycle but doesn’t know how to break out.”

Alex was quiet for a moment. “ _That… makes a lot of sense, now that I think about it. If that’s really the case, I feel… so bad. I should’ve noticed._ ” 

Madeline shook her head, making the bird fly off. “I doubt that you even could. I just got lucky with my experiences. He’s terrifyingly good at keeping a straight face.”

“ _I can agree with that. He always acted so chill and unbothered, it kind of made me a bit angry— I won’t deny I wanted that laid back personality. But I guess I really should listen to what I preach._ ” 

Madeline sighed. “The ‘ _be nice to others, because you don’t know what they’re going through’ quote?_ ”

“ _Yeah. I… I need to think about this for a bit, if you don’t mind._ ” The bird landed next to Theo, pecking at the ground. “No, I don’t mind. Take all the time you need.” 

Alex huffed a sad laugh. “ _Thanks. Talk to you later, Madeline._ ” 

She smiled. “See you.”

Hanging up, she set the phone down next to his bag and got up, looking out at the sky. The sun was high in the sky now, no longer producing the array of colors in a sunrise. 

Quietly, she snuck over a rock and headed toward where the summit would be. 

She just wanted to get a quick glance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex, your favorite oblivious chill person who never actually speaks a word in-game but is crucial to my fic


End file.
